Those of you who read The Far-Flung Media Empire regularly know that while we mostly serve up huge helpings of incisive social commentary, thoughtful analysis of toilet signs from around the world, and award-worthy pictures of über-cute toddlers, we have also for years offered an exclusive line of t-shirts. Since we introduced our first t-shirt to the general public (My Generation Made Millions on the Internet Revolution and All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt) in 1999, we have sold literally several.

I am pleased to announce the addition of a new shirt to our already spectacular lineup: Figure 5: Whee!.

Imagine this: your plane has just made an emergency crash landing. You have only seconds to evacuate before you are engulfed in the raging fire that, fed by cheap paperlike headrest-protectors and glossy Airmall catalogs printed with unspeakably toxic inks, threatens to engulf the cabin. A disaster? Or a way to work a little fun into your otherwise dull business trip? Take a look at the design of this attractive t-shirt, based on the safety information card of a major US airline, and decide for yourself.

This emergency protocol is available in a variety of handsome and affordable sizes and styles. It's the perfect way to remind your dad or grad that should their 8:50 shuttle from Seattle to Cleveland encounter catastrophic engine failure, they should meet the unexpected situation with a tight smile, a jaunty flip of the tie, and a heartfelt "whee!"

And don't forget these other popular designs:

Horsehead Brand: Soft, Hygenic, Absorbent. Why get an obscure Asian-language tattoo when this Chinese toilet paper wrapper is so much less permanent? I find this shirt is a great way to start conversations with, or just get funny looks from, waiters at Chinese restaurants.

These Military Experts Agree: Invading Iraq is a Bad Idea. Show everyone you were against this thing all along. Perfect for Democratic congressmen.

Isabel playing with her pal Josie earlier today.

Back in my day, we didn't have cardboard houses shaped like underwater pineapples.

Isabel peers out the pineapple's porthole.

Sometimes, when I am effusive about my brief trip to Japan, people ask me, "what's so great about Japan?" It's difficult to explain. Fortunately, this video for Japanese students of English gives you a taste of the sense of utter bafflement a foreigner experiences in Japan. And by the time it was over, I spoke fluent English.

Isabel sat hypnotized throughout, and demanded I play it for her a second time.

The World Cup starts on Friday and I'm getting psyched. I got a TiVo and upgraded our cable specifically for the event, even though I know full well that somehow I will have the results of each and every game in which I have the slightest interest blurted out to me before I get the chance to go home and watch the recording.

Last night I heard a story on NPR about a book called The Thinking Fan's Guide to the World Cup and I picked it up on my way home from work. In addition to some basic information about the competitors, it features an essay about each of the 32 teams and the countries they come from. And yes, that does sound like a snooze, but these are by real writers like Dave Eggers, Eric Schlosser, and (inevitably) Nick Hornby. I nearly peed myself with excitement reading it on the Metro this morning. It's good. It's very good. You need it.

We're back from our Massachusetts trip, but there's a photo backlog still to work through. From Worcester we went on to visit some friends in Belchertown, near Amherst, and then to Rockport.

Still at the hotel in Worcester, Isabel dresses for an evening at poolside.

With buddies Zayus and Kaya, Isabel checks out the ducks on the UMass/Amherst campus.

The flowers of Rockport. And some plants that someone planted in front of their fence.

Bumpy and the Bean.

Grammy and Isabel compare talking-your-hands techniques.

Uncle Dan, Aunt Peggy, Isabel and the duck from hell.