Friday, July 07, 2006
The Dilemma
In 1998, I faced a serious personal dilemma. The World Cup was coming to a close, and the last two teams standing were preparing for the final. The World Cup final is the biggest event in soccer, something people talk about for decades afterward. It’s an exciting thing for any soccer fan.
My problem was that I just couldn’t find a way to care.
It was the teams. I’m sorry, Brazil may play beautifully, but their attitude stinks. They waltz into the opening stages acting bored, score a few goals on hapless opponents, and only act like they’re halfway interested during the last couple of matches. Besides, who wants to see Brazil win their 97th World Cup? It’s like rooting for the Yankees.
And France? Well, they’re just so French. One of the great tragedies for me about the tenure of the Bush Administration is having to live with the awful knowledge that the French have it right, and we have it wrong. It really rankles.
But it really isn’t nearly as much fun to watch a match like this as a complete neutral. So I consulted a friend – let’s call him the Wise Man – who gave me some brilliant advice. If France lost, they would still be happy just to have made it that far, and Brazil would prance away with another trophy. But if France won, it would be a national scandal in Brazil. True, the French would be insufferable about it, but some things can’t be helped. The path was clear: root against Brazil. It was the lesser of two evils.
Sadly, today I face a similar circumstance. France now face Italy in the final on Sunday, and I simply can’t being myself to care about either team. No matter which one of them wins, we will be subjected to years of yammering from commentators and pundits telling us how the victor was vindicated – France of the accusation that they’re a bunch of elderly duffers who can’t kick a ball off their home field, and Italy of a dreadful refereeing scandal that is rocking their domestic game – by the result. I simply can’t get behind either one of them.
So I consulted the Wise Man.
He can't care either. “I don’t think I’ll see it actually; I’ll probably be at a picnic.”
Oh dear.
I am currently accepting suggestions.
My problem was that I just couldn’t find a way to care.
It was the teams. I’m sorry, Brazil may play beautifully, but their attitude stinks. They waltz into the opening stages acting bored, score a few goals on hapless opponents, and only act like they’re halfway interested during the last couple of matches. Besides, who wants to see Brazil win their 97th World Cup? It’s like rooting for the Yankees.
And France? Well, they’re just so French. One of the great tragedies for me about the tenure of the Bush Administration is having to live with the awful knowledge that the French have it right, and we have it wrong. It really rankles.
But it really isn’t nearly as much fun to watch a match like this as a complete neutral. So I consulted a friend – let’s call him the Wise Man – who gave me some brilliant advice. If France lost, they would still be happy just to have made it that far, and Brazil would prance away with another trophy. But if France won, it would be a national scandal in Brazil. True, the French would be insufferable about it, but some things can’t be helped. The path was clear: root against Brazil. It was the lesser of two evils.
Sadly, today I face a similar circumstance. France now face Italy in the final on Sunday, and I simply can’t being myself to care about either team. No matter which one of them wins, we will be subjected to years of yammering from commentators and pundits telling us how the victor was vindicated – France of the accusation that they’re a bunch of elderly duffers who can’t kick a ball off their home field, and Italy of a dreadful refereeing scandal that is rocking their domestic game – by the result. I simply can’t get behind either one of them.
So I consulted the Wise Man.
He can't care either. “I don’t think I’ll see it actually; I’ll probably be at a picnic.”
Oh dear.
I am currently accepting suggestions.
11:40 AM |
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