Like all parents in the United States, we have our statutorally-mandated copy of What to Expect The First Year, by the authors of the equally ubiquitous What to Expect When You're Expecting. Both volumes are written for dopes, which we flatter ourselves not to be. Witness the following question from the chapter on the eight month-olds:

I always said that a baby wasn't going to change the way we live. But with our daughter's crawling around, many of the valuable things we've collected over the years are at risk. Should I pack them away or try to teach her to stay away from them?

The book doesn't even give the correct answer, which is: "put either the Hummels or the kid on eBay, lady, and here's some information on Norplant." Nevertheless, until today I had not seriously entertained the possibility that these books may have also been written by dopes. Witness the following advice, and I emphasize that this is in the chapter on eight month-olds:

Auto safety. Be certain that your baby not only becomes accustomed to sitting in a car seat, but understands the reason why it's essential. Also explain other auto safety rules, such as no throwing toys around, no grabbing the steering wheel, and no playing with door locks or window buttons.

Isabel has begun to understand the word "Daddy", but I think "inertia", "horrifying crash", and "mass of crumpled steel" may still be beyond her.