During a recent visit to New York, I visited with some friends who I had not seen for a while. I heard the same comment I have heard over and over again: the website is not updated frequently enough.

Like any other major multinational, we at the Far-Flung Ryan-Silva Media Empire pretend to be sensitive to our customers’ needs. We have tried being even further-flung – witness trips to Afghanistan, Pakistan and Iraq – but this seems to not have satisfied our readership base.

We conducted market research to determine how to solve this problem. A series of focus groups conducted at shopping malls across America indicated that the Far-Flung Ryan-Silva Media Empire was overdue for expansion.

Being a family business, expansion of the Empire is no simple task. It seems there is a law against me taking more than one wife in this country. This is apparently enforced – we checked. Relocation to a corporate haven with less restrictive regulation was deemed impractical for the time being. So we had to find another way.

Fortunately, scientists working on the Empire payroll told us of a possible solution. There was scientific literature indicating that it might be possible for Julie and I to combine our DNA and grow an entirely new Ryan-Silva. Since this would not technically be cloning, it would be legal, though some questioned the ethical implications of such a move. We nevertheless proceeded and our expansion strategy is now well-advanced. Below is an image of the new Ryan-Silva taken with sound waves from inside the container in which it is being grown:

The Bean sucks her thumb, prompting Empire officials to budget for braces.

In response to consumer preferences, the new Ryan-Silva is a girl. Prior to the launch of the new Ryan-Silva, scheduled for November 24, she is being referred to only by the code name “Pinto Bean.”

We hope that this development will satisfy our demanding customer base an inject even more excitement into the Empire.

The comic strip This Modern World often lapses into unfunny screed mode, but sometimes it still makes me laugh out loud.

Flip-flop-flip:

THE PRESIDENT: We have more to do. We've got more to do to wage and win the war on terror.

I knew he could not level with the public for more than 24 hours.

In a shocking move, President Bush made a comment today that would indicate he may understand something about foreign policy in today’s world:

When asked “Can we win?” the war on terror, Bush said, “I don't think you can win it. But I think you can create conditions so that those who use terror as a tool are less acceptable in parts of the world.”

I believe that this an important part of the correct answer of how to deal with the issue of terrorism. I also believe that one good way to “create conditions so that those who use terror as a tool are less acceptable in parts of the world” is to not occupy those parts of the world with swaggering, nervous American soldiers, but I digress.

War is a bad metaphor for what we have on our hands. A war is fought and won with tanks, planes, and guns. Tanks, planes, and guns may be a small part of our strategy, but their exclusive use will only get us deeper into the hole we are in. If you disbelieve this, I would urge you to look up “Israel” in an encyclopedia. The comment above would seem to indicate that the President has some understanding of this.

However, a quick look at the White House web site would seem to indicate that this view expressed by the President may represent a [gasp!] flip-flop:

“No, I'm optimistic about this country, because I understand the character of the people. And I'm optimistic because I know we're doing the right things when it comes to educating our children and workers. I'm optimistic about the economy. I'm also optimistic because we're going to win the war on terror.”

“Because I am talking about two of the great priorities for our country. One is to create jobs for America, and to win the war on terror -- the two challenges we're faced with.”

“On Tuesday, I conveyed the sympathy of our country for the losses of the U.N., and the gratitude of our country for the relief efforts of the U.N. in Iraq. I also expressed America's determination to fight and win the war on terror -- for the safety of our own people and for the benefit of all mankind.”

“As America continues to fight and win the war on terror, our government is also focused on another national priority, growing our economy and creating jobs.”

“Earlier today, I spoke to the graduating cadets of West Point, who will provide the ultimate service to our nation as we fight and win the war on terror.”

…ad nauseum (275 instances, to be precise). This could be interpreted as a shocking flip-flop, but I, for one, applaud the President for finally coming to his senses and realizing that his strategy is all wrong. This must surely represent a complete change of heart on the part of the Bush Administration. I mean, it couldn't be that he has been knowingly misleading us all this time, could it?

The Bush Administration’s major argument in defense of the Iraq War is that its prosecution has made us safer. I disagree with this, but some find the argument compelling. I would point them toward an excellent graphic from the New York Times Op-Ed section explaining how we might have spent that $144 billion in ways that would, unambiguously, have made us safer from the proven threat, rather than an imagined one. I think that the graphic forces one to ask the question: how good is this administration’s record on security, really?

If I could put only one thing in front of every voter in America, this would be it.

“The danger to political dissent is acute where the Government attempts to act under so vague a concept as the power to protect ‘domestic security.’ Given the difficulty of defining the domestic security interest, the danger of abuse in acting to protect that interest becomes apparent.”

- Opinion of the Supreme Court in United States v. United States District Court for the Eastern District of Michigan (1972) – which the Justice Department has ordered the ACLU to redact from a court filing for reasons of ‘domestic security.’

Like drones in every city across America in 2004, I spend much of my commute to work with an iPod jacked directly into my brain. But unlike drones in San Francisco, Cleveland, and Miami, in Washington we're listening to the 9/11 Commission Hearings, which have happily been made available for free on Apple's iTunes.

Today I was listening to the hearing on law enforcement and the intelligence community that was held in April. One of the witnesses was J. Cofer Black, who was head of the Counter-terrorism Center at the CIA in the period leading up to September 11, who I think made a trenchant observation that I have heretofore not heard made by any US government official (or indeed, Mr. Kerry) since the attacks:

What I have been largely talking about is what the Counterterrorism Center can and has done, but ultimately what we at the agency do is deal with the symptoms of terrorism at a tactical level. As long as there are people who are not happy with their lot in life, as long as the United States is perceived to somehow be the cause of this unhappiness, there will be terrorism.

No matter how many plots we uncover and disrupt, no matter how many terrorist organizations we degrade or destroy, another individual or group will rise to take their place.

Mr. Chairman, we need to remind the American public of this reality.

Those like the families who have lived through the horrors of 9/11 will never forget. But I fear sometimes, that the rest of the country is losing sight of the long and hard way ahead.

At the more strategic level, the only way to address terrorism is to deal with the issues that create terrorism, to resolve them where possible, and where that's not possible to ensure that there is an alternative to violence. And that is not something that the Counterterrorism Center or CIA can do. That is a mission for the broader United States government.

Correct Arabic pronounciation does not always sound like what English-speakers expect. For example, sometimes when I say "Iraq" it sounds to my parents like "Jordan." So when I spent two months last year in Iraq, they somehow thought I was in Jordan. Imagine! Well, now we have that straightened out -- and I know I won't be going back -- I can reveal the blog I kept while I was in Iraq in November and December.

According to a recent poll, 51% of registered voters say Bush has done more to divide Americans than unite them. 39% say that Bush has done more to unite Americans than divide them.

Think about it for a minute.