Last Friday, Government employees and many others were given the day off in "rememberance" of Ronald Reagan. What better way to remember Reagan than by paying a zillion Government employees to not work?

I myself had the day off, working as I do for a company whose major client is a government agency. Of course, that agency -- the US Agency for International Development -- is one that Reagan wanted to dissolve. It survived, though, and grew -- so much that it had to be moved to new office space. In the Ronald Reagan Building.

Over the last week, we have been told by the media, over and over again, that Reagan restored America's pride. I remember it well: Jimmy Carter was at large, and it seemed as if he could not be stopped. He brokered a peace deal between intractable enemies Egypt and Israel. He promoted human rights in foreign policy. He supported programs to develop alternative energy sources, for the love of God! Truly he was history's greatest monster. We hung our heads in shame.

Happily, when Iranian fanatics held Americans hostage in Tehran, the American people revolted and brought apple-cheeked Reagan to power. He deregulated industries, like Savings & Loans, creating jobs and wealth for many of his campaign contributors, until they collapsed. He cancelled those evil alternative energy programs, ensuring a viable future for trade with such loyal American allies as Saudi Arabia and Iraq, to whom he sent military equipment by the boatload. His cabinet members won well-deserved acclaim from their many appearances in criminal proceedings. Best of all, he presided over an extremely creative scheme to subvert the rule of law by laundering money for Central American death squads by exchanging weapons with the aforementioned Iranian fanatics for the release of hostages.

At last, America be proud again!