For months, the President has been saying that America would have the backing of a large number of allies in its war against Iraq. Yesterday the White House released a list of 30 coalition partners, which is actually a pretty impressive number, until you look at the list. The Administration says there are even more, but that we will have to take their word for it because these others asked not to be identified. The Coalition Of The Unwilling To Be Named. A ringing endorsement.

So should Saddam Hussein tremble in the knowledge that Bulgarian legions are arrayed against him; that Lithuanian armor and Eritrean helicopter gunships have him in their sights; that phalanxes from Albania and Uzbekistan will soon march on Basra and Tikrit? No, he need not worry, because these countries will not be providing any troops or equipment. The extent of their contribution is unclear. Will El Salvador be granting overflight rights? Will Estonia donate surplus fire extinguishers to be mounted in the turrets of attacking Abrams tanks to be used in the event of an electrical fire? Will Eritrea be providing little cheese and cracker snacks for the marines, while the Macedonians ship over thermoses of hot tea? The White House isn't saying.

For the past several weeks we have been treated to the diatribe of angry conservatives, outraged that Cameroon, with its vote on the Security Council, has a voice in world affairs, and that mighty America might be forced to stoop to the level of listening to it. Now, after stuffing our fingers in our ears and singing "Mary Had a Little Lamb" at the top of our lungs in order to avoid having to hear the opinion of such minnows as China and Russia, we trot Latvia in front of the international community as our evidence that "a broad coalition is now gathering to enforce the just demands of the world."

The complete list of the Axis of Good, which was on the State Department website but was apparently pulled when they realized how embarassing it was:

• Afghanistan, whose government’s control does not even extend to all of Kabul
  
• Albania, probably the only country ever to be destabilized by the equivalent of Amway
  
• Australia
  
• Azerbaijan, because it’s sure to raise oil prices
  
• Bulgaria
  
• Colombia, which is in favor of anything that widens the scope of the War on Terrorism
  
• the Czech Republic
  
• Denmark
  
• El Salvador, glad to see us messing with another hemisphere
  
• Eritrea, which figures it doesn't have anything to lose
  
• Estonia
  
• Ethiopia
  
• Georgia
  
• Hungary
  
• Italy, even though 81% of Italians oppose the move
  
• Japan, but not until the war is over
  
• South Korea, who are hoping our troops will run over other countries’ schoolchildren for a change
  
• Latvia
  
• Lithuania
  
• Macedonia
  
• the Netherlands
  
• Nicaragua, once again instrumental in a Republican president's Road Runner cartoon of a Middle East policy
  
• the Philippines
  
• Poland, even though 73% of Poles oppose the move
  
• Romania
  
• Slovakia
  
• Spain, even though 81% of Spaniards oppose the move
  
• Turkey, actually a member of the Coalition Of The Billing
  
• the United Kingdom
  
• Uzbekistan